Wednesday 7 May 2014

The Dos and Don'ts of Friendship



Donts:

1. Abandon a friend during a tough time.

Not cool.

2. Get too attached. 

 Getting attached inevitably results in disappointment. Being in a relationship too long uncovers the faults evident in all of us. Be ready to accept that.

3. Force a friendship when it's not there.

It is Allah who mends hearts and it is also He who separates them. Treat humanity with kindness and expect nothing in return.

4. Carry any expectations.

 The only person you should expect anything from is yourself. But, anything else that comes from people is appreciated.

5. Cut anyone off in conversation.

 Be as the prophet (peace be upon him) who used to never leave a meeting before the other excused himself.

6. Take compliments too seriously.

  Compliments are to be appreciated, never used as validation of the self.

7. Let them go if they challenge and help you grow.

  Friends that challenge you in a positive way are the realest kind.

8. Stick to a "type."

 Be careful of arrogance in your choice of friends and companions

9. Friend the opposite sex.

Unless you want to make a mess.


Dos:

1Do for them what they would like.

  What you would like is not always what they would.

2. Know that friends won't always be around to save the day.

 Allah gave you the friends you have and He can take them away at anytime. Thank Allah for the time you have together.

3. A real friend is one who makes dua for you in your absence.

 But how can you read anyone's mind?

4. The more diverse your friends are, the better your character probably is.

The types of friends we have reflect the makeup of our social filters. Keep the filters checked and working to let those with good character through, and those with a negative influence away. Judge using caution with what you see and can confirm in the face of your Lord.

5. The friends you spend the most time with reflect a big part of yourself.

There is something driving that connection. And it's in you.

6. Allah > Friends

Friends are from Allah.

7Family > Friends

Family will unconditionally accept you while friends are temporary. Family is obligation. Friends are what you do in spare time. However, what is right with Allah accepts no social or biological boundaries.

8. Know that your advice is not always needed.

It's not always about the awesome you.

9. Listen more and you'll make a ton of new friends.

Just a little bit of listening will open and teach you more about people you never knew.

10. Being "busy" is just an excuse for not caring enough.


Get the hint. Unless being busy is accompanied by "how about next Jumaa?"


And the biggest Do of them all:

11. Love for the sake of Allah

The best kind of love is one with Allah. Read more here on how to find out if you love someone for the sake of Allah.


What are your Dos and Don'ts?